Berlin first · prototype phase · looking for collaborators here and in other cities
The first rule of Authentic Dating Club is You bring your whole self, not your dating mask.
A members' club for people who want to get better at connection — to themselves and to others — with dating as a welcome side effect. The first prototype events are being designed now, and I'm looking for people to build them with.
Why this exists
We like people for who we are when we're with them
What could happen to your relationships if who you are is someone you like, and it stays constant?
I went from being socially anxious, unable to hold a conversation in a casual bar, to someone with a wide circle of close friends and a place in several communities. What changed was that I found Authentic Relating games and the practice of Circling. Both brought me into the present moment, taught me a lot about myself in relation to others, made me a much better listener, and let me speak honestly about almost anything. Within a year my friendship network grew tenfold.
Those skills transfer to every relationship. Dating is the one place I, and most people I know, still leave them at the door — and the one place dating apps have been a near-total failure for me and my friends.
Is this a dating service?
Dating at ADC is not a given. We practise bringing our authentic selves into connection, giving and receiving feedback, and exploring intimacy to the degree we feel comfortable. Dating can happen, and some events — matchmaking, a slow speed-dating — will lean into it. Connection to self and other comes first.
Why authentic
Everything works better when we can bring our full selves to connection. Open, honest communication is an underrated tool that can turn all your relationships around.
Why dating
Intimate relationships bring up the hardest things in us, and we live in a culture that doesn't encourage deep, honest intimacy. Nearly everyone I talk to is frustrated with how dating goes.
Why a club
A vetted group of people. A small, regular commitment that keeps people showing up. And a culture we get to shape together instead of inheriting.
Who it's for
This is for you if
- You struggle to stay connected to yourself on a date or inside a relationship.
- You feel like you're wearing a mask in front of others.
- Small talk frustrates you and you want to get better at deep talk.
- You're figuring out who you are, what you want, and how to relate to others.
- You're done with apps that go nowhere and want to meet people in real life.
Probably not for you if
- You aren't willing to step out of your comfort zone.
- You want to date people without putting in the work on yourself.
- You're partnered and looking for a place to practise open connection and find friends — that's Authentic Berlin's regular events, and you're very welcome there.
The shape of it
What a year at the club could look like
A sketch. The prototype events exist to find out which of these people actually want.
- Monthly
Signature workshop. A facilitated evening built on Authentic Relating and Circling, with a dating-specific theme each time: desire, feedback, rejection, asking.
- Monthly
Informal hangout. No structure, same people, same agreements. Where the practice meets ordinary life.
- Quarterly
Intensive. A full day or weekend to go deeper than an evening allows.
- Yearly
Festival. The whole club, plus friends of the club, in one place.
- Between
A digital space to stay in touch, and peer accountability pairs that rotate.
- Optional
Test dates with feedback. A practice date, then honest, kind observations from a trained facilitator on how you show up. Rarely available anywhere in life.
- Optional
Relationship assessments and personalised development plans, with partner coaches and therapists.
Where it stands
Prototype first, money later
The prototype phase has zero focus on monetisation and full focus on designing the experience. Everything above the line is being tested, and the invitation to co-create is genuine: the feedback round at the end of every prototype event asks who wants to help shape the club.
Call for collaborators
Who I'm looking for
I can facilitate and I can gather people. I can't do the rest alone, and I don't want a club I built by myself. The first chapter is Berlin, and that's where I need partners now. If you're somewhere else and this approach speaks to you, I'd like to build a chapter with you too: one identity and one community, designed together, in more than one city.
Berlin chapter
Co-facilitators
Authentic Relating, Circling, somatic or embodiment practitioners who want to co-design and co-hold the monthly workshops.
Coaches and therapists
To run the feedback sessions, test dates and relationship assessments, and to be the referral network members can trust.
A venue in Berlin
A room for 15–25 people on a regular evening, warm enough to be vulnerable in. A standing partnership beats a one-off rental.
Community and organisation
Someone who enjoys the digital space, the calendar, the welcome messages, the rota — the parts that turn events into a community.
Wellness and event partners
Studios, practitioners and spaces who'd offer members something: a punch card, a discount, a door that's open.
Founding members
People who'd come to a prototype event, bring one friend who could use this, and tell me honestly what worked.
Other cities
Chapter partners elsewhere
Facilitators or community builders in another city who want to run the club there on the same rules. We'd design the identity, the formats and the community together, so it stays one club across cities and each chapter keeps the flavour of its own place.
What you'd get
- A say in the culture from the very first event, before anything is fixed.
- A share of what the events bring in, agreed openly.
- A vetted community to bring your own practice to.
- Credit, referrals, and a partner who has done this before.
What I bring
- Certified Circling facilitation, trained with Transformational Connection.
- 75+ workshops hosted through Authentic Berlin.
- An existing Berlin community of people who already practise this.
- A former games developer's habit of designing structure people can play inside.
Get in touch
Tell me what you'd bring, what you'd want, and where you are
One paragraph is plenty. I read everything, and I'd rather hear from you early than polished. Berlin or elsewhere, both are welcome.
Prototype events are invite-only for now. Writing in is how you get invited.
Who's behind it
Luz
I'm a facilitator of relational and mindfulness practices, and the founder of Authentic Berlin. In a previous life I was a video games developer, and I've always been drawn to games in all their forms: board games, social games, role-playing games. A context with clear structure and rules grounds me, wakes up my curiosity, quiets my social anxiety and lets my creativity and personal expression come out.
When I found Authentic Relating games, a gate opened: I could apply that same openness to how I create and keep friendships, more consciously and more genuinely. Circling took me further, into a wealth of inner wisdom and personal growth. Since then I've devoted myself to helping others create and nurture healthier relationships, and I trained as a Circling facilitator with Transformational Connection.
The club is the next thing I want to get my own practice done in: I struggle to stay connected to my desires inside a relationship, and I want to break that pattern in company.