monogamy … conscious or unconscious.

ho hum.

lol :-p

Thanks for posting Its always been a struggle for me to write, but slowly I am getting better. Thanks for the compliment. I’m curious as to what questions you are sitting with?? I liked your post as well! Stick around for a while

I love your writing style… Your voice is smooth and happy, clear!

I wanted to also thank you for joining the many way email conversation lately…

I’m sitting with questions about this article in particular…

Feeling some sadness and passion for Burning Man Guy… and some confusion…

I also loved your post on Radical Honesty… I’m going to add you to my blog roll… I just posted an article on Radical Calls for Radical Honesty…

http://thewayoftheexquisitewoman.blogspot.com/2009/12/radical-calls-for-radical-forgiveness.html

Thank you for being such a beautiful man…

Marriage is like a business transaction you are willingly become a part of. Yup, there are tons of government benefits and all that, but man… it seems like the most miserable people are the ones in marriages.

Unconscious monogamy is so common. So many people get married because it’s the “thing to do”. NO WAY MAN! Ugh…

I’m a fan of marriage when both people know exactly why they are letting the government be a part of a union. Someone said this a while ago, “I believe in volunteers, not victims”.

I want to get married eventually, and choose monogamy consciously, and have some kids too, but for the right reasons for me. If it doesn’t add to my current well being, no way. If it adds, of course!

Thanks for droppin by bro!…I’m glad to hear from you and you are always more than welcome here. Now hurry up and get back to LA so we can really catch up

Anyways, the meaning of Love and the weight it holds is completely relative to the person. As is the word commitment. What is your defintion of commitment? In the context of this post, the obligation was to the physical/emotional commitment that I had which simply meant not cheating on my girlfriend.

“What I find empowering in this situation is not the “Fear that I will not find someone as good as my current girl”, but the knowledge that I am a desirable man who has attracted the cream of the crop, and have chosen her above all others because she is of high value and a better match for me then most”

You said it in much better words than I did. Thanks for that.

“Therefore I know finding someone else as good as her will not happen quickly or easily. I am confident in my ability, and my choice, not my obligation and commitment”

Yes I see this too because a committment of any kind is a choice to be made. I also love the positve reframe of course. That is a very healthy midset to have if you decide on monogamy.

Loved seeing you here…stick around for a while

Just kidding!! Love you TT!!

Steele and Miss M said it all very well, and I really have noting to add. We’ve been down this road before. And it’s all good. It really doesn’t matter if you believe me or I believe you.
I have said this before, as long as YOU are happy and as long as YOU ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE ELSE, than how you choose to live your life is your business and your business only.
I do hope if only a little that you get to experience what is we have, me, Miss M, and seemingly Steele, and not at all for an “I told you so” but because it’s like nothing else. It’s so beyond special there are no words to really express it.
That’s all.
xxoo

I love, love, LOVE that! I do believe it is harder for a man who has a lot of confidence in his abililty to attract woman to be faithful, for a time, in a relationship but…once true love is there and this man knows without a doubt that he has selected the perfect woman for him…those desires for other women will go away (not the attraction for other women, but the desire to be intimate with them).

Terrance: My statement to you about it in the beginning was in direct relation to my own relationship for several years. My guy (who has always been very successful with women) couldn’t fully commit…tried and failed…it was not only hard to stay faithful to me, it was TOO hard. And when he was out with the guys, he wasn’t anything NEAR committed!

But, once he truly fell in love and truly decided I was the PERFECT woman FOR HIM, it hasn’t been an issue at all. He doesn’t feel obligated, he doesn’t resent me for it, he simply knows he has chosen the right woman for him and doesn’t want any other. I feel the same about him. I have no desire to be with anyone else, not out of obligation, but instead, it is simply a total and complete lack of desire to be in a bed with another man. No desire. We have each other and the love is too strong…it overpowers everything else.

We both meet attractive people of the opposite sex all the time and never, ever want to be with them sexually. I don’t know how to explain it except to say that if I were given the choice of being with any other man in the world or going home to J…I’d much rather go home. If I were out of town and given the choice of going to a hotel room with any other man in the world or going back to my own room and calling J to talk until we’re too sleepy to stay awake any longer, I’d much rather go to my own room and call him. This is the man who makes me laugh, who totally gets my personality and sense of humor, who misses me when I’m gone, who is grateful for me when I’m there, who shares an intimate connection with me, who supports me and challenges me and loves me and cherishes me who is passionate about me and eager to make love to me…I can’t imaging wanting to spend my time with another man when I could spend it with J (either in his arms or on the phone or even just alone thinking of him and remembering all the things I want to talk to him about). I can’t even imagine it. It’s one of those things I guess…he’s who I want every second I can be with him and if an encounter with another man takes away from time I could be spending with J…I have no desire for it at all. I do it when I have to (say business reasons or I’m out with friends and we meet other people, etc,) but I’m always anxious and ready to be back in the arms of my love just as soon as I can be. Always.

If I have an opportunity presented to me by another man and I turn him down, what am I missing out on? A potential connection? A potential love? A potential amazing love making session? A potential…….????? None of that matters to me…because I don’t just have the potential at home…I have the real thing…all of it and everything I could have ever wanted. I’m not at all concerned or desiring of the “potential” I just walked away from…never even give it a second thought…and I sure as hell am not going to resent J for it! LOL

Until people feel that way though…I do believe it can be very hard to walk away (especially if you are in a “committed” relationship you are not ready for) and I really believe it is harder to walk away from that than from a fight.

Much Love,
Mercedes

PS: I’m with Tinque…the white on black is VERY hard to read…lol )

Thanks for the feedback on the site. I am still learning how to use it so I am experiementing with the look. So I appreciate your feedback on that.

I know you feel that way as you know I don’t feel that monogamy is the only way to touch deep intimacy love. The irony is that I don’t think that there is a way to prove our perspectives to each other as it stands. I am purely assuming, but if i told you that I was able to do it in a non-mongamous relationship, no matter what the time frame of the relationship I don’t think you would really know or believe me. I would be happy to be proven wrong here though.

Thanks for your input!