So I rescued an especially feisty kitten for a pet about 10 years ago. I think feisty might actually be an understatement, but that is what drew me to adopt her. I have grown quite fond of her over the years. She is my goddess and I love her dearly. She doesn’t let anyone near her unless she gets to know them and they respect her. I’m in a position now, where I was going to move in with a good friend. My friend has an extremely playful and friendly 75lb pit bull. Before I move in with him, I had to make sure that my cat and his dog got along. Jack is the dog’s name and Yoda is my cat’s name.

I showed up with Yoda in her carrying bag. She’s an indoor cat so she is not in the best mood. Immediately, Jack was curious and excited. Yoda was surprised and responded with her mini roar (hiss). Jack didn’t care. He knew what he wanted and was focused. I knew this was going to be a rough meeting. We calmed Jack down and made him lay down on the other side of the room. In the meantime, I let Yoda get out of her bag and find her ground where she felt she could make the most strategic move. She knew from the size of Jack that this was not going to be easy. She has never backed down in her life and she isn’t planning on starting now. She staked her claim behind a chair on the other side of the room. We then brought Jack over holding him to make sure nothing happened drastic. We moved the chair to allow them to get close while holding Jack. Jack saw an opportunity and executed a lunge forward towards her, invading her space. Yoda, while having an opportunity to run, stood her ground and smacked Jack in the face. Jack, unfazed, kept coming into Yoda’s space, and every time he did he got a vicious smack.

After meeting strong resistance from Yoda, Jack began to try to find other ways to invade her space. He tried to attack from the back of the chair. Yoda found strategic ground that forced Jack to come straight at her or give up. Jack by this point was trembling with excitement because he finally found an adversary worthy of his full attention. He went over to the TV, but he could only stick his head behind the TV. Jack tried to negotiate a surrender by way of barking and trying to get close to her, however every time he got too close and ignored Yoda’s growls, he got smacked. She would not negotiate with him. This happened for about 15 minutes until every time he got smacked he started to blink, not from fear, but I believe from respect. That didn’t break his focus. He was to determined and curious that he had to continue his quest to play with her. Again, Jack got another advantageous break. We moved the TV so that Jack could completely get behind on both sides. With no restraints and no restrictions Jack thought that he had her. Yoda, again did not run. Instead, she performed flawlessly. She smacked him with every violation. Finally, Jack was broken and admitted defeat. He started to lay down every time she smacked him and when he tried to go around to get behind her, he would actually let out a small yelp as a warning that he was coming. She was then able to turn around quicker, but Jack was learning to respect her boundaries because he would stop just short of her reach and just laid his head down next to her. She was now inside his head. She began to stop smacking him as much, just a growl. She started to trust him more. Eventually they were nuzzling noses with no restraints and no boundaries.

This story, rather comedic, has a rather important lesson it in it. For Yoda, her boundaries were put in place and she stood by them because her LIFE depended on it. She never wavered from them. Once Jack earned her trust, she was willing to surrender to him. For women, I offer this story so that if you get into a situation with another person to remember this story and treat your boundaries like Yoda did and treat them as if your life depended on it.

As for Jack, he didn’t know her boundaries, but was fearless in pursuing her. He was unwaivered in his purpose. You normally will not know a woman’s boundaries up front. You have to test them to see if they are there. If they are there figure out what they are. It took him a while, but he learned to respect her boundaries and only then did he get what he desired, a playful partner. In this case, Jack got a lot of chances to actually listen and learn her boundaries. In reality, you will rarely get this many chances to to the same. The fact that she stood her ground excited him so much that he was literally quivering with excitement. Personally for me, I love it when women have boundaries and stand up for themselves. It gives me a challenge and lets me know that they value themselves more than they value my opinion of them. It gives me something to go for that is of greater value.

Alright!

I finally got this thing up and running. Now here’s the hard part: writing. I know it seems weird to start up a blog when you are not very good at writing. Well, my intention is to get better at writing as I continue to post. I will be able to look back at this post and think “Wow, Terrance, that sucked, but now you are sooo much better!” So bear with me through the growing pains.
Anyways, I know I posted a little bit about myself already, but I am going to give a very detailed view into my former life. This, hopefully, will shed some light on how I became who I am today. For those of you that already know me, you might catch a few things that you didn’t know.

I was born in St. Louis, Missouri and grew up in a upper-middle class suburb in the county. I was one of a very few black familes that were in this area. Since I grew up here, I thought life was normal and I personally did not experience that much racism, even though parents had. I saw it happening all around me from people spray painting racial slurs on people’s houses, to people getting fired from their jobs when affirmative action was lifted there. So obviously, interracial relationships were frowned upon by a lot of people there. Since I typically dated out of my race, I got a lot of criticism growing up, both from my family and by my peers.In high school, I was considered a pretty popular person and it was one of the most memorable times in my life. I was friends with virtually every very attractive girl in the school. They key word is FRIEND. I didn’t have sex with any of these women. Yeah, I was THAT guy! I was the guy who all the hottest girls in school would call when they had problems with their boyfriends. For advice, that is. I had two girlfriends while in high school and one for six months when I was a senior and still managed to maintain my virginity until I got to college. I often wondered if I was ever going to have sex before I died.

When I got to college and finally moved away from home, I felt that I needed to change this part of my life. With no direction and looking for a part-time job to support myself, I got a job at an all-girl clothing store. Bad idea…it sucked. It was almost as bad as working at Chik-a-Fila when I was 14 and constantly getting hit on by the gay cook! Anyways, that lasted about a semester and then I got a job as a bouncer. This where my life took a much better turn. One night after the club closed, I was having some friends visiting me from back home, including a really hot blonde who always flirted with me before I moved. I got really drunk and the next thing I know, she’s taking advantage of me. Just like that my precious V card was cashed out. I didn’t remember it either.

In college I had two girlfriends. Both were great girls and great relationships for different reasons. The first girlfriend was short lived – three months officially, but it was three really intense months. Eventually, towards the end we fought all the time and she eventually broke it off. At the time, we were at two diffrent places in our lives and there was a big maturity gap, which has since disappeared. What I learned from her was priceless. When we broke up I was devastated. I didn’t go out for two weeks. She taught me how to manage and deal with my emotions. In hind sight, that was the best way for it to go. We are really close years later.

My second girlfriend was a long one. It lasted around three years and I was close to proposing. A great relationship, except for one important detail. We had to keep it a secret from anyone related to her or anyone that knew her family. Her parents, especially her dad, were very racist. She felt that she would get disowned by them if they found out. However, she told me that she would eventually tell them if we got really serious. So I told her that I would keep the secret for two years so that they would pay for her tuition. I didn’t stick to my stipulation because we stayed together for three years. That’s right you guessed it! She never told them – until after we broke up, that is. So what I gather happened was a lack of respect due to me not respecting my boundaries and walking. However, this time around I was prepared and I dealt with it fairly well. I then got a job promotion and moved to LA.

LA for me was very different. I felt like I needed to learn how to communicate again because everybody I was in contact with was very defensive and super cautious. So I started doing all kinds on social experiements to see how people tick out here. I found out amazing things about myself and how to interact. One of my longer experiements was learning and involving myself in the seduction community. I met some amazing people throughout this process and I am still learning. This was my journey to this point and I have purposely left some people out of this as they will get a much bigger entrance into the blog than what could be presented in this post. I have also made this part rather vague as a lot of what I will be posting will explain it much better I think this is an appropriate introduction. Please feel free to chime in and post comments. The more the better.